


Easy To Be Brave (When The Road's Already Paved)

by pansexualorgana (MaximumMarygold)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AU, Death!Kravitz, F/F, F/M, Life!Taako, M/M, life and death au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-25 12:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximumMarygold/pseuds/pansexualorgana
Summary: “He can catch me outside - man to victim.” A pause, “And with that lame-o accent of his he’s gotta be well versed in the role of victim.”“Lame-o accent?” Kravitz asked, cocking his head to the side and spilling inky black dreadlocks over one broad shoulder, “You think Death’s accent is lame?”“Death is lame,” the pink haired man mumbled, waving the spoon around his head in a way that was very his Aunt Edna, Pan bless her soul, “stupid accent, stupid scythe, stupid cloak…”(in which Life is dating Death and hasn't figured it out yet, and The Giant Jellyfish In The Sky has a migraine)





	1. Taako Makes A (Boy)Friend

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while and I'm s o sorry especially if you keep up with any of my Gramander fics BUT i have an actual reason, and its not that I'm lazy and would prefer to play pandemic on my phone
> 
> I broke my elbow and was completely out of commission for a good bit there SO
> 
> but I'm back with some Taakitz! and a still technically broken elbow but my moms an MA so she unwraps it for me sometimes as long as I dont do anything stupid

No one soul could handle the domain over life or death for all eternity - they’d tried that route.

Once. 

People died left and right that shouldn’t have, people who should have died lived for years beyond their time. It was a nightmare. The giant jellyfish in the sky couldn’t have that.

Things were split, responsibilities divided. One soul to bring life, another death and when such a point came that it was too much, another would be chosen. And then another. So on and so forth.

When Taako became the guiding force behind Life it was nearly 2017 - Trump was running for president of The United States, shit was going  _ bad  _ in Syria and no one could be bothered to help, Russia was getting more anti-gay by the second and Istus had ripped the rainbow hood from her pale hair and scowled so hard at the earth in front of them that Taako honestly thought that it would combust from the sheer force of her ire. 

She’d quit then and there and was presumably drinking heavily with The Raven Queen somewhere in the Astral Plane. She’d been overqualified for the job anyways, honestly. Kind and encouraging and warm. During his training he’d watched her place her hand over more than one infant’s head and hum sweetly to herself.

Taako, however, was not quite as cut out for the gig. While he knew that he wasn’t actually responsible for it, he’d served forty people in Glamor Springs their death on blue flowered plates made of cardboard. And he’d done it with a smile -  _ he hadn’t known _ , of course he hadn’t, but he’d still done it.

Wasn’t there some kind of law about Life not being allowed to have a body count? Let alone one in the double digits. It just seemed irresponsible. 

Halsey was playing through the speakers in Fantasy Costco (where all your dreams came true!) and Taako was seventy percent sure that if he brought Istus and Feathers some vodka he wouldn’t be turned away and would be allowed to curl up under The Raven Queen’s wing and bitch about his day - month? - year? 

Fuck, how long had he been doing this already?

Too fucking long was probably the answer. How the hell had Istus kept this up for centuries? Taako had barely been on the job for half a year and he was  _ over it _ .

The infant mortality rate was still way too high, half the globe didn’t have clean water, people in  _ industrialized nations  _ were dying of malnutrition, exposure, and easily treated illnesses because apparently a lack of paper currency meant that an individual didn’t deserve  _ to live _ . 

When Taako had died he’d had hope for the future of humanity - a hundred years later and he was losing that more rapidly than he could rebuild it. Istus and Lup had taught him to count the good things but they were being outnumbered rapidly.

Still.

The ozone layer was repairing itself. Pakistan was outlawing honor killings. Pandas. Tigers. Manatees. Fifty million trees in twenty four hours. Possible cure for radiation poisoning.

And that was just from 2016. 

Closing his eyes, Taako made himself curl his lips upwards, trying to smile. He could do it. Istus believed in him. Between her anger at the world who kept taking the gift of life and using it to hurt others, and the resulting tequila-binge, she’d taken Taako’s face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re going to be amazing,” she’d said, and he believed her.

Throwing a package of toilet paper into his cart, lavender scented because his sister was a menace to society who couldn’t have just regular toilet paper,  Taako rounded the corner and promptly bumped into another who thought that two in the morning was the best time to do their bulk grocery shopping.

“Shit,” Taako mumbled, biting back a wince. He was in no condition to be social with another not-so-living, not-so-breathing soul. He was wearing yoga pants that said  _ “Eat Me”  _ across the ass, for Pan’s sake, “sorry, dude.” 

“No, it was my fault, I didn’t look where I was going.”

“Neither did I,” Taako admitted and, okay, yeah, he should probably look up at the person he’d rammed with his garish yellow cart and  _ s h i t _ . Dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes, dark thick rimmed glasses, “not that I can find it in myself to particularly regret that decision right now,” he said because, new job or no new job, he was still Taako and the dude was hot like burning. 

Also, awkward. So, so awkward. “Uh…” He was probably blushing under all that melanin. Fucking adorable. 

Thrusting out a hand and trying to squash both the embarrassment of being caught by a model in his pajamas and the appreciation of not being the darkest guy in the room (because was it just him or were things  _ so whitewashed  _ in the Astral Plane?) Taako grinned handsomely at the attractive stranger, “I’m Taako.”

The guy’s eyes widened even as he reached out to take the offered hand and give it a firm squeeze, “Istus’ replacement.” 

Whoo, boy, word traveled fast in the land down under -- wait, that was Australia. The land slightly adjacent?? “Wow, the dead do like to gossip.” He said before he could stop himself and then clacked his mouth shut in silent horror.

Holy shit, what if that guy hadn’t been dead long enough to handle jokes about it? Just because Taako had had a little more than a century to adjust didn’t mean that the attractive stranger had. Shit. Goddammit, T-man, engage brain  _ then  _ open mouth.

To the eternal relief of one Taako Taaco, the aforementioned attractive stranger just laughed, “That we do,” he said smoothly, “but also, Julia Burnsides is an acquaintance of mine.” 

Jules from Death’s office. Taako was pretty fond of her. Nice girl. He kept tabs on her still-living husband for her (by kept tabs he meant ‘was actively buds with’ but no one needed to know that), “Jules is the bomb,” Taako said sagely, grinning widely when Attractive Stranger laughed again, “So, what’s your name, Thug? Or am I just going to have to keep calling you ‘Attractive Stranger’ in my head?”

Oh, oh, there was that ‘would definitely be red as hell’ expression again. Pan help him, this guy was way too cute. Taako was  _ feelin  _ it.

“Kravitz,” he said after a moment, “my name is Kravitz. But uh…” behind his glasses, dark eyes darted away, “you can keep calling me Attractive Stranger if you want.”

_ So cute _ .

“And you,” Taako said, pulling a pen from the bun atop his head and humming appreciatively at the slightly awestruck look on Kravitz’s face when his bubblegum hair tumbled around his shoulders, “can call me anytime.” He held his hand out, waiting patiently for Kravitz to stop staring at him and get with the program.

Once that happened it took the new representative of Life about ten seconds to scribble down the number for his personal Stone of Farspeech and wink one brilliantly green eye.

“I gotta be going, but, uh, yeah,” Taako stumbled over his words momentarily. What was the best way to say ‘I’d like to climb you like a tree. All the homo.’ without scarin’ a dude off? “Gimme a call. I hear they just opened up a Chug & Squeeze. I mean. If you like wine -”

“I like wine,” Kravitz blurted, “And yes. I mean. Um. I’m assuming you were about to ask me out and if you weren’t then the ground can just open up and swallow me because-”

“Oh,” Taako breathed, “you are way too adorable for my sanity, my dude. I was definitely trying to ask you out.”

Shoulders relaxing, Kravitz smiled, “Good,” he said, his eyes going wide a moment later, “I mean-”

“No, no, it was definitely good.”  _ So  _ good, “Ring me up sometime and we’ll figure out when is a good time. My work schedule is a little nuts.”

Kravitz laughed again - it sounded like honey and brown sugar on Candlenights, “I understand.” 


	2. Death Is A Dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont get used to this update schedule tbh
> 
> I just had nothing else to do while my state was getting fisted up the ass by hurricane irma SO I WROTE FOR YOU GUYS <3  
> bc ily

It went a little something like this:

Kravitz’s vase looked more like an urn. Taako looked directly into the instructor's eyes and made the most glorious bowl anyone in any plane had ever seen despite the fact that  _ it was vase night, sir! _

As the doors to elevator that would take them back to the first floor of the rec center closed, Taako crowded Kravitz up against the wall and kissed him soundly on the mouth.

It was, honestly, the best first date Taako had ever been on. And he was alive for twenty nine years and dead for a hundred and fifteen and definitely not celibate.

Kravitz kissed like he was dying for it -- pun totally intended-- and wound a hand into Taako’s hair to tug him closer. Then Taako was the one pressed against the wall and everything was  _ awesome _ .

Until Taako had to go to work. 

He’d been in an ongoing battle with Death over a kid in Estonia and he was not about to give up that easily. He hadn’t been in the field since he’d taken over for Istus - he had minions for field work, okay, he  _ delegated _ .

But this case was worth leaving the office for.

He swung the rainbow cape over his shoulders and made sure his hair looked appropriately ethereal - no one on the mortal plane could see him unless he wished it but it was a matter of pride. Life looked effortlessly graceful.

Or maybe that was just Istus. 

The umbrella had been a bit of a surprise, but honestly Taako kind of dug the Mary Poppins aesthetic, and he got a little bit of a thrill whenever he got to cross planes with it. Who the hell would choose a scythe when you could wield an interdimensional umbrella? As an Elven Underling he’d had a wand but  _ wow  _ that umbrella was satisfying as fuck. 

He stepped through the rift, sauntered really, ready to fistfight whichever reaper was currently in the room with Kateriina Avelar and promptly stumbled over his own two feet.

It wasn’t a reaper. 

It was  _ Death _ . 

Literal, actual death.

Skull face. Cloak. Scythe.

D-to-the-E-to-the A-T-H.

Now, it wasn’t Taako’s first rodeo. But there was a distinct difference between keeping an eye on things and learning the ropes while Istus smiled and told Death exactly where to stick their scythe, it was another to be the one who had to tell the skull in the black cloak to shove it.

Regaining his balance quickly and putting off a distinct air of ‘I completely meant to do that, suck it’, Taako leant on his umbrella cooly, “Back off, my dude,” he said, casual as can be, like he wasn’t literally staring death in the face, “this kiddo’s got a hell of a fighting spirit.”

“She is exhausted,” Death said back, voice low, accent deep, and a shudder went down Taako’s spine.

“Because she’s  _ fighting _ ,” Taako stressed, narrowing his eyes and tapping one purple fingernail against his lips, “it’s the gerund form of ‘fight’ which indicates a continuous motion,” he paused, “or is that fancy accent of yours just for show?”

If he didn’t know any better, Taako would say that the skull was smiling at him, “Let her rest,” Death said.

“Not a fucking chance, buddy,” Life said back, just a little more aggressively, “Move along. Take someone else. This kid is staying right where she is.”

“I’ve taken nine souls while you took your last unnecessary breath,” Death hissed, stepping forward, skeletal fingers curling around the staff of his scythe, and Taako had a moment of panic - not even a year on the job and it looked like he was about to get into a fight with  _ Death  _ \- “What makes this one so special?”

“She can make it,” Taako said without thinking. It was an impulse, a voice in his head that sounded a lot like Istus laughing, “And she’s going to be amazing.’

Death paused, then, tilting his head to the side as he studied Taako intensely though the sockets where his eyes should have been, “Very well,” was all he said. And it sounded a lot like victory.

For every victory, though, there were eight losses. At least in the world of Life and Death.

In the time it took Taako to barter and fight for Kateriina’s soul, nine others lost their fight. 

Nine others didn’t have anyone to fight for, and no one to fight for them. 

The thought made Taako’s stomach roll, seated on The Raven Queen’s sofa with Istus’ arm around his shoulders.

Kateriina had her family there for her, her friends, doctors. And then on top of that, the force of Life itself standing at her bedside ready to Phantom Fist Death himself back into the astral plane.

Who did -- Taako paused to look at the paper in his hands -- Manuel Salazar from Portugal have? Why didn’t Taako take a trip into the mortal plane for him? 

“You cannot be in a hundred places at once, Bubbeleh,” Istus told him, using his own endearment to calm him, “Life and Death must work in tandem or the mortal plane will fall into chaos. Everyone must die at some point. We both did. We know that it is not so bad.”

Taako scoffed. It wasn’t so bad for them. They had something they were supposed to do, a purpose to carry them on, to keep them grounded. Not every soul fared so well in death.

Most, in fact, faded. 

Souls who were so bright in life, dulled into nearly nonexistance because they had nothing to tie them down and anchor them.

“That would have worked better if I didn’t know how all of this worked, Izzy.”

Swatting him over the back of the head, too gently to actually hurt, Istus huffed out a soft laugh that sounded like wind chimes in summer sunshine, “I am still your goddess, you know,” she scolded with no real heat.

“Goddess of my heart,” Taako agreed, allowing himself to smile at her. It was times like these that he had to work hard to think of the good things --Vaccines. Cleaner living conditions. Hayley Kiyoko. Hamilton. An all time high of female executives. Protections being put in place for the LGBT community. Istus. -- “Thanks.”

She reeled him in close and brushed his hair away from his face as she kissed both of his cheeks gently, “You’re going to be amazing.” She repeated her original words to him and he smiled, letting his eyes flutter closed. 

He believed her.

  
  


Magnus had a dog. A huge, fluffy thing who bounced around like it didn’t weigh nearly as much as Taako.

Magnus named her Sophie.

Taako preferred to call her Pumpkin. 

There was some ongoing debate over who Pumpkin loved more, though the fact that she was currently curled up in Taako’s lap like she thought her whole body was the size of her head put a point firmly in his box. 

He told Magnus not to take it too hard -- the kids always loved the cool uncle more.

Plus, Taako was also riding the wave of Pumpkin not having seen him in a couple of months.

Being Life was time consuming. 

Taako barely had half a second to himself as of late let alone time to spend in the mortal plane with his still breathing buddies.

Magnus, the gargantuan asshole, took full advantage of Taako being effectively pinned to the sofa under a hundred pounds of contently snoozing fur, “So, it’s been two weeks and you haven’t told me about the guy yet,” he said casually.

_ Goddammit, Jules _ . Taako always knew that hooking Magnus up with an illicit stone of farspeech was going to bite him in the ass -- he’d just been under the impression that the attack was going to be from the bureaucratic end, the end that was very particular about the dead communicating with the living. But no, no it was from the nosey friend end. 

Fucking figured, “I only told Jules about the guy because she knows the guy,” Taako sniffed, clenching his hands tighter around his tea and pointedly looking anywhere but at Magnus, “it would be awkward.”

“She says you guys are cute,” Magnus supplied, “that you look happy.”

“I always look happy. I’m Life. I’m all sunshine and rainbows all the time, my guy.” They both knew that wasn’t true. That being Life wasn’t a walk in the park, that there was no sunshine and no rainbow. It was all freak accidents and people he couldn’t save.

Rolling his eyes but not quite able to hide his smile, Magnus tilted his head to the side, “What’s his name?”

_ None of ya damn business, you nosy Nancy _ , “Kravitz,” Taako surprised himself by saying, “he’s hot as hell and a huge nerd and that’s all the information you’re getting so stop trying.” A pause, “Actually, no, it’s not. Can I ramble for a second?”

Fingers tangled in the scruff of Pumpkin’s neck and his favorite blend of hibiscus tea warming his other hand, it was easier to let himself talk. About Krav’s stupid urn and kisses in the elevator and a bunch of dorky references to Fantasy Netflix movies that Taako had thought he was the only person to ever watch --because they were laughably bad-- and the stupid swoop his stomach did whenever he caught his dude looking at him.

Magnus’ grin got progressively wider as his friend spoke until he couldn’t seem to contain it anymore, “Jules was right, as always,” at Taako’s unamused grunt he held up his hands in surrender, “just that you do look happy, is all. I haven’t seen you so gone on someone since…” he stopped to think, pursing his lips, “actually I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so gone on someone. And we’ve been friends for how long?”

“Ten years,” Taako answered promptly, “give or take.” Lives of mortals were a fickle thing and, honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure? How long? Had he been buddying it up with Magnus and his friend Merle in the mortal world? Ten seemed like a safe guess -with the give and take for some wiggle room -. Twenty was definitely too much and five felt so small so. Somewhere in the middle. 

“That is such a bullshit answer,” Merle hopped over the back of the sofa Taako was perched on, nearly scaring him onto the floor, “you have no idea how long you’ve been slumming it with us mere mortals do you?”

If Taako wasn’t already dead he would have died of a heart attack, “You need to warn a bitch, old man,” he grunted, shoving an elbow into Merle’s ribs, “scare a guy half to death.”

“You’re already dead, dumbass,” the old man shot back, “but apparently your love life is not.” 

The look Magnus received could have peeled paint. Just because he had an in with Jules didn’t mean that he could go blabbing Taako’s personal life to  _ Merle _ , “As far as you’re concerned it is.”

As Merle sputtered indignantly, Taako looked covertly down at his stone of farspeech. It blinked once to signal he had a message pending and he started to grin. The only person who bothered to leave messages was Krav - and they were always sickeningly adorable.

“Speaking of death,” Taako looked up and crossed his arms over his chest since there was exactly no way he was going to check his messages in front of the boners he called friends, “they’re kind of a dick.”

Magnus’ eyebrows scrunched in confusion, “Death is?” he asked, like it was an odd thing for Taako to have said.

It didn’t seem odd to Taako, however, or to Merle who just snorted.

“No, really?” The dwarf said, with a wry smile, “The entity that rips souls from their loved ones is an asshole?”

Well, when he put it like that, “Okay, yeah, that was kind of a moot point,” Taako admitted, though Magnus still looked confused, “but like… he’s an extra dick. Like, standing there all imperial with his cloak and his skull face,” Taako’s nose wrinkled at the thought, “fighting me over a six year old in Estonia like he didn’t kill nine people with a wave of his creepy Halloween hand. I woulda punched him if I wasn’t sure Istus would have flayed me with the damn umbrella.” Stupid thing still liked her more.

Hell, the stupid thing liked  _ Lup  _ more.

“I mean,” Merle said casually, “if she comes after you for beating Death in the face you could always tell her that your sister is dating a mortal.”

First of all, Lup would kill him  _ again _ if he even thought about it, and secondly, “What kind of a dick move is that you grumpy old toad?”

Smiling contentedly, Merle leaned back and folded his hands over his stomach, he looked like a pleased father and it made Taako’s still heart want to beat, “Good answer, kiddo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, my family and I are all fine! By the time the hurricane hit US it was down to a cat 1 because it veered way east. <3 It WAS originally on the fast track to rip into us at a cat 4, but apparently Istus has a soft spot for us bc we cool my dudes.
> 
>  
> 
> [here!](http://elevendamerons.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> the adventure zone ended and im real sad but also excited bc now i dont have to retcon every goddamn headcanon i have  
> G R I F F I N
> 
> Don't forget you can find me on tumblr right here!! [here!](http://elevendamerons.tumblr.com/)


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